Offensive Crayons Hosts Color Naming Contest for Adults-Only Brand

Offensive Crayons, a colorful box of writing tools with obscenely off-color names, has just launched its first-ever Color Naming Contest and is taking submissions now at

To kick off the upcoming release of its Porn/Sex coloring box assortment, Offensive Crayons is on the hunt for the most tasteless, but clever, captions to stake claim on a crayon color; the winning entrant will receive a cash prize of $500, and their winning color name prominently displayed in the pack.

“We have received many perfectly inappropriate and objectionable suggestions over the years, and apparently we’re quite hard to impress,” said Offensive Crayons founder Alice Vaughn. “We’ve got $500 on the line for a really good color name, so don’t let us down!”

Vaughn said that Color Naming Contest entries should be witty and follow the Porn/Sex theme, with the joke or phrase fairly obvious “to even the dumbest person you know,” and to steer clear of the timely/topical. “We’re looking for the classics – crass and politically incorrect captions that will stand the test of time.”

The adults-only crayons, with gloriously obscene names such as Statutory Grape, Golden Shower Goldenrod and Travel Ban Brown, were developed in 2017 as a natural accompaniment to the wildly-popular adult coloring books currently selling by the millions worldwide.

The Offensive Crayons Color Naming Contest ends September 1st and the winner will be announced shortly thereafter.


Offensive Crayons is an adults-only box of crayons for the wildly artistic with a healthy sense of humor, from the twisted mind of ‘Two Girls One Mic: The Porncast’ podcast co-host and producer Alice Vaughn.

With inappropriately messed-up names like Alcoholic Piss yellow, Suspicious Cold Sore red and Cyantology blue, Offensive Crayons – launched via Kickstarter in 2017 as an R-rated response to the ubiquitous adult coloring books that have exploded in popularity – have been effectively banned from Amazon for “insulting children and Caucasians”.

Visit to find out more about the 24-pack box of crayons ($8.50), which also come in a Holiday Edition, political Red White and F*ck You Edition and the Porn/Sex Edition, coming out later in 2019.


Next Post

Lance Hart & Charlotte Sartre Win at the Fetish Awards

Tue Aug 13 , 2019
Chicago – Prolific adult performer, director, and producer Lance Hart attended the Fetish Awards and walked the infamous Kinky Red Carpet. For the fifth year in a row, Lance has taken home an award, but this is Charlotte’s first Fetish Awards win. Lance and Charlotte won Favorite Fetish Short Film or […]

Wicked Pictures

Sara Vandella

Mile High Movies

Kendra Lust

Jenevieve Hexxx

Alexis Fawx

Anna Bell Peaks

Kelley Cabbana

Tanya Tate

Britney Amber

Briana Banks

Tyra Scott

LouLou Petite

Sara St. Clair

Girlfriend Films

Cherie DeVille

Serene Siren

Alicia Amira

Sammie Six

The SDR Show

Brandi Love

Cyndi Sinclair

Ashley Sinclair

Kit Mercer